Recently a topic of conversation came up on forgiveness. It went something like… ‘I need to let this go, but I am not sure how….’ So, how do you forgive someone and move on when you will NEVER get an apology and know that you are completely innocent in the situation? You know they were unjust with you (and they know it too) but are unwilling to take the step to resolve the issue and apologize for the hurtful lies that were spread, or how they treated you, etc. (insert whatever action here).
So I was talking with a friend about an issue that bothered me. And so we chatted back and forth and we were both like well what’s the best way because just saying, ‘get over it ‘doesn’t really work. Maybe it does for some people but not me (and this person agreed). So I thought for a minute and then I came up wit this activity. Now someone may already teach, this I don’t know, This helped me so much on this issue (and I have used it now for passed wrongs as well with other people) and I wanted to share. After I did this I noticed a total shift in my attitude over the issue (I still need to do a chord cutting on the person, I’ll write about that in another blog). The relationship is still severed, no reconciliation is going to sought. It’s just done. And if you are a woman you know that once you say ‘I’m Done,’ you are done. At least I am.
So here are the steps.
Write a handwritten note (preferable handwritten if possible) to yourself as if you are that person that wronged you and are apologizing. Write out I am sorry I made your feel…. X I am so sorry I did X to you. Write everything you feel (or felt) negative that came from that relationship or issue. Include please accept my sincere apologies and other apologetic words in the letter. Don’t be shy with these.
Then at the end write, I wish you nothing but the goodness or, the highest good for you and may you be blessed in all the things you do (or something of the like end it on a positive note of blessings or goodness) and sign it as if you were (are) that person. Much love, Dr. CrapWeasel
Then read it aloud to yourself, slowly. Feel and visualize the person standing in front of you saying these things and really act out the moment (I feel this is the key). Then out loud verbally forgive them and smile at them.
The last step is this. Take your letter and burn it or bury it (I burn mine–outside of course safely). Why? Because once it is burned or buried you can’t resurrect the issue, its done. Shake of your shoes and move forward.
Bob Proctor says in the Art of Living that ‘Forgiveness is one of the most liberating things you can ever do.’ I agree. HOEVER I know it can be hard sometimes so I hope that this activity is a way to help you through it.
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Want to find other ways to be healthy check out my Integrated Wellness E-Course. Get your life back! This activity is in video format in the course along with a lot of other goodies to help you achieve your health goals so you can live your passion.
Disclaimer: I am not a mental health professional. I am simply sharing something that was beneficial. Forgiveness doesn’t mean justice should not be served, Report illegal behavior and let the justice system handle that, Nor does it mean you get right back with someone who is toxic. Close the door on that and move forward (or not, your choice, I am not the boss of you) 😀